


What's the Ikea Word for Werewolf?

by qu33nb33



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Monsters, Werewolves, Werewolves buying a couch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qu33nb33/pseuds/qu33nb33
Summary: Jake and Jessica go looking for a couch because their last one had some... Incidents.





	What's the Ikea Word for Werewolf?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a friend; This features two OCs named Jessica and Jake! They're werewolves in their 20s.
> 
> Looking for someone to write a fic for ya? Send me a message here or on tumblr at plantcommissions.tumblr.com! A fic like this would go for about $6!

Jessica sneered down at the furniture in front of her. “Really? This is your top choice?” The couch before her was a hideous gray-brown color. Despite being brand new, it looked like it had sat in someone’s basement for twenty years before the store got a hold of it.

“Yeah!” She could hear Jake’s enthusiasm, and she turned around to face him. He stood with his hands clasped in front of him, a begging motion that she recognized immediately. Being friends for five years meant she knew when he wanted to get his way, and this was certainly one of those times.

She wasn’t going to budge, though. Even though the couch was an L shape like they wanted, she couldn’t get over the musty color.

“It looks so… Old. And the cushions are too fuzzy. They’ll attract hair and dirt too easily.”

The employee to Jake’s left perked up. “Oh, do you have pets?” Jessica looked at him for a moment, confused and unsure how to answer. Thankfully, though, Jake was prepared.

“Oh, yeah.” Jake’s sly grin made Jessica uneasy, “We have a dog who sheds. A lot.”

They didn’t have a dog, it was just—

Oh.

“Don’t forget the cat.” Jessica said with pseudo-cheerfulness, “Always tearing sh—stuff up. That’s what finished off the last couch.”

She could see Jake’s jaw clench and he crossed his arms. “That was an accident and you know it.”

“Oh yeah, accidentally shredding the whole couch. I hate when that happens, don’t you?” Her voice remained calm, but there was no doubt an electric current underneath her tone. Jake caught it easily and frowned as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

To their side the poor employee stared at them, confused and anxious at the apparently battle of opinions and pets going on between them. Did they still want the couch? Did they want a different couch? He had no idea.

“Regardless,” Jessica turned to the employee, “I was thinking something sturdier, and pet friendly. The gray couch over there looks like it could work.” She pointed to a couch across the floor from them, with faux leather cushions and a lighter color.

“R-right,” The employee nodded, “I’ll, uh, let you two talk about it, and I’ll make sure we have it in the back.” He motioned behind him with his thumb and quickly turned around. Behind him, Jake and Jessica glared at each other until he was out of earshot.

“A dog! That sheds!”

“You called me a cat! At least I stayed near the same species!”

Jessica full on snarled and bared her teeth, “I just wanted a new couch, Jake! One that doesn’t look fifty years old!”

“I like this color! It’s… Nature-y!” Jake whined, incapable of keeping his voice angry as he half heartedly glared at his best friend. “That faux leather shit isn’t going to be any better than this fabric in the long run, you know.”

Jessica crossed her arms and held them tightly to her chest. “Well maybe if you didn’t chew on the furniture that wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh, this again,” Jake groaned, “Look, I said I was sorry. But you have to live a little, Jess.”

Jessica wrinkled her nose but didn’t comment. The idea that he had accidentally clawed the couch to shreds was laughable, but she couldn’t stay mad about it forever. Maybe she had been a bit unfair.

Jake sighed, and Jessica rolled her eyes. “Let’s get this couch in a less ugly color, then. Light brown. And I get to say ‘I told you so’ when you tear it up.”

Jake cheered and looped an arm around Jessica’s shoulder. “I’m excited about a couch!”

She rolled her eyes again, but smiled. “Yeah, yeah, so am I. Paws off.”


End file.
